ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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