One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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