Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dick very happy bro
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