Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm going to jail i love you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
