the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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