So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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