even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
