About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
