I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
