maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
