that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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