And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
