everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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