you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
