Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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