I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
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Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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