Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
