Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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