but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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