I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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