I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
