some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
