your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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