You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
