Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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