I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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