i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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