i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
