i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize