he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
