maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
