Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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