I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
