hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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