Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
