I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize