I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
