Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's just like the Real World with babies
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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