I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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