i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
