when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I touched a dick in church today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
