You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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