Your dad touched me again.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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