I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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