I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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