No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
