I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
