yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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