It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
