he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
