i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
