Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
