you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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