So drunk its hurt
I just cut my nipple shaving
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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