So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you had me at cake vodka
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
