Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
