Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
